Intermission

Hello! Sorry for the break in service, but I have been unavoidably delayed by circumstances beyond my control. However, things are getting back to normal in Pitch Towers and I hope to be back soon.

Please carry on sending in your pitches, and commenting on the ones here already. Alternatively, you can send me an email with any questions.

Regarding honesty.

When you approach an agent, you must be honest with them. I cannot overstate this point. Your relationship with your agent will be a close one, even if it is not a personal friendship. They will know the financial truth of your publishing career, and when you are due some money, and from where. Yes, they take a cut from your genius, but they are doing a lot of donkey work to get it and probably paying a book-keeper to keep track of it. If a publisher owed you money, would you be able to get it out of them without shouting and screaming because of the red gas bill in your hand?

This applies to your pitch when you are considering exactly what to tell an agent in your query letter. My advice is to leave out any reference to peer review sites, or to minor literary awards. If your work has won any major literary prizes, it is unlikely you will be looking for an agent, and far more likely that they will be looking for you. If you have been awarded a grant to spend some time writing, then that is worth mentioning.

Any writing credits, as long as they aren't the poetry section of the local paper when you were sixteen (unless you are seventeen, of course) are also worth putting in. This means you can write in a timely fashion, on subjects suitable for publication.

If you have already decided to self-publish (in print format through traditional means), you will then have to wait for your book to sink or swim before you start submitting again. If it sinks, that's bad luck and you'll have to write another. If it's holding its own out there, and you want it repped because you think that will help it, then you are going to have to submit sales figures in a proper format. This doesn't mean a complicated format, it just means who sold what, where and in what time period. Crystal clear, no fudging! If you have made your book available for free on the internet, don't try to sell it; it is too late for that, but you may hook an agent through it if it's being downloaded helter-skelter. Be ready with another plot, if not another manuscript, and have a detailed synopsis.

As far as biography goes, unless you are a celebrity, just be yourself. Let your own voice come through in the letter. Keep this bit short. Fifty words will do it, unless you have particular experiences that relate to the plot of your book, such as being a policeman for ten years if you are writing a crime novel. Agents want to read that you are friendly, well-balanced and will be able to take instruction, but also work well alone.

Apart from this, it's really about the hook and the pitch. Sorry I haven't been around much recently due to the ongoing gut-work, but do email me if you have any questions, or want me to comment on something. I'll try and catch up with commenting on recent posts this week. Pip pip!

Query Letter - Glimpses of a Floating World

Dear Ms Pitch

Re. GLIMPSES OF A FLOATING WORLD

I wonder whether you would be interested in representing my 90,000-word novel, Glimpses of a Floating World? The book tells how a senior policeman, whose son is a heroin addict, betrays both his ideals and his family when he accepts a bribe to cover up the murder of a police informer. It is currently available as a free download on Smashwords.com, and as a self-published paperback (ISBN 978-1-4092-9338-5).

Glimpses of a Floating World is set in 1963, when there was a moral panic over the spread of heroin addiction in London. While the Profumo and Challenor scandals are exposing the dark underbelly of postwar Britain, Ronnie Jarvis, a teenage heroin and cocaine addict, undergoes a cold turkey in a padded cell. After several escapes from custody, Ronnie is recaptured and pressured into becoming a police informer by a junior detective, who doesn't know that the boy's father is Commander Freddy Jarvis of the Metropolitan Police. Ronnie's father does a deal with gangsters who want to eliminate the grass, without realising that his own son is the intended victim. He is devastated when he discovers the truth. Critics on the peer review website Authonomy described Glimpses of a Floating World as a "lyrical and triumphant elegy to a seedy, vice-ridden London of the 1960s".

I am one of the founder members of the writers' cooperative Year Zero, and my previous publications have been non-fiction. My background is in working with disadvantaged children in London's Clapham Junction. I went on to become a Reader at the University of Hull and, until my retirement in 2001, published over sixty book chapters, monographs and journal articles. Previous books include Alcohol Problems in the Community (Routledge, 1996), Risk, Health and Welfare (Open University, 1998, with Alaszewski & Manthorpe) and International Aspects of Social Work Practice in the Addictions (Haworth, 2002, with S. Straussner). My one venture into fiction, or rather dramatised history, was in 1988, when I wrote and presented Tobacco Battered, a feature on the history of tobacco, for BBC Radio 4. This was well-received, featured on Pick of the Week, and led to the Listener commissioning an article on the subject.

Following the guidelines on your website, I am attaching a one page synopsis and the first chapter as Word documents.

Many thanks,

Yours sincerely,

Larry Harrison

Click here to read Larry's sample chapters, and here for the synopsis.

Pitching

When I put together a non-fiction proposal, I'll spend six(ish) weeks putting together a detailed proposal, including a summary of each chapter, primary and secondary sources, and two or three sample chapters. I'll also include a page on who the work is aimed at and other similar works, if there are any, as well as reasons why the book should exist in the marketplace. This is enough for a non-fiction agent to go to bat.

Oh, I hear the fiction writer say, but I've spent years on my novel and can't get anyone to take it on. Ah, but have you spent the equivalent of six weeks hard graft on your pitch? As a fiction writer, you have all these amazing ideas buzzing about and many people turn them into sprawling manuscripts, but without focus, attention to detail and ruthless editing, they're really just ideas and aren't going to go anywhere, no matter how wonderful. Your pitch should boil down the essence of your voice and plot. It is the first indication to an agent or publisher that firstly, you can write, and secondly, that you are serious about your writing.

I wanted to write a longer post about this today, but there actually isn't a great deal more to say. I'd welcome comments on how long you typically spend on a pitch, by which I mean sitting at the desk and doing it, not agonizing over it and not doing it.

Query Letter - Please, Please Me

Dear Miss Pitch,

Here is a novel that I hope may interest you.

February, 1964—Civil rights, the space race and the President's assassination weighed heavy on the minds of Americans. However, career criminal Sonny Carter is focused on just one thing—knocking off one of New York City’s prestigious banking institutions. Only this time, Sonny wouldn't be the patsy in a sting that sent him to prison for twenty-five years. This plan is fool proof (he hopes), thanks to two unlikely sources—a sexy bank employee with secrets and a shady past of her own, and a band from Liverpool about to make their historic American debut on the Ed Sullivan Show.

PLEASE, PLEASE ME is a 63,000 word light-hearted, suspense novel, featuring four ex-cons who plan and execute a five-million-dollar heist. In one night, these partners in crime face conflict with New Jersey mobsters, unexpected love, loss and bittersweet triumph during one of the most important eras in American rock and roll history.

This is my second novel. My first, THE JUDAS APOCALYPSE, was published in May 2008.

Thank you for taking the time to review this project and I look forward to your response.

Yours,

The author has requested I don't post his synopsis, but you can read the sample chapters here.

Agent Feedback

Sending out manuscripts is thankless, I know (not to mention expensive, time-consuming and so on). Reading submissions takes time and as I have said before is by and large, soul-destroying. Imagine sitting at your desk in front of a submission, rejection slip in hand, and looking at it thinking There is absolutely nothing positive I can say about this. So you don't say anything. You just sign the thing and put it all back in the SAE (if there is one, of course) and send it back out. I am not joking when I tell you that covers about ninety percent of all submissions.

So for the other ten percent, the ones that show promise? I always personalized those rejections, even though it isn't generally recommended, and wrote something encouraging which probably smudged the reason I was giving for the rejection. Here is a summary the most common reasons for rejecting people who can actually write:

1) This is a great idea, but the writing is not up to scratch.

2) The idea is hackneyed. No matter how good the writing, there must be a flash of originality.

3) The protagonist is plainly semi-autobiographical and of little interest to a wider audience.

4) It is something the agency does not specialize in and therefore cannot place, or they have just sold something very similar and that space is currently filled by another author.

5) The query letter drips with ego, or utter lack of confidence.

The manuscript arrives back, or the email flits into the inbox and it says 'No thank you but...'. First of all, it does mean no. It really means no.

Read the feedback, and think about how it applies to your work. If an agent tells you your writing is not up to scratch they don't mean you haven't studied the 'craft' of writing. They mean semantically and grammatically you are not up to the job. Buy/borrow a book on the fundamentals of pen to paper and damn well read it. The rest is between you and your story (or your ego/lack thereof).

Agent feedback is not an invitation to a discussion about your work, either by email or telephone. However tempting it is to reply, please don't, for your own sake. Agents who appear online, particularly on twitter, discussing 'stalker' writers do themselves and the industry a disservice, but there are aspiring writers who like to flog a dead horse. Of course, if the feedback says, 'I really like this but it needs xyz, please have a rethink and send it back to me' then that's a different matter. Should this happen and you are not clear on any of the points being made, there is no harm in getting in touch. Even if you don't achieve representation, you will have learned a little more on how to conduct yourself when representing your own writing.

Quick digression: you MUST view yourself as the representative of your own work. If someone offered you a product and they were unconvincing, slip-shod in their approach, uncertain and generally unimpressive, you wouldn't buy it. The time of J.D. Salinger and Ballard is gone, I'm afraid. If you want a peep at how to market yourself effectively whilst trying to make a full-time career out of writing, google Adrienne Kriess. Yes, she's gorgeous, but she knows exactly how to make herself appealing as a marketable package and she is clearly making a lot of effort. David Cornish, author of the excellent Monster Blood Tattoo does exactly the same by blogging and interacting with his readers, even though you don't see his face (not that he wouldn't be equally gorgeous, but it's a different approach). David still illustrates as well as writing. Both these writers are good examples of a marketable package.

Back to the hare: receiving agent feedback is an indicator you are on the right path with your writing. It may mean this story is not publishable, or something is wrong in its workings, or it is so far from being polished and finished that it needs another year's work, and then some, but it does mean there is something there. If nothing else, it means don't give up yet.

Query Letter - Cyber Kill

Dear Agent,

How Far Will an Artificial Intelligence Go for Revenge?

Fans of Tom Clancy, James Patterson and Clive Cussler, would enjoy this twist on the Frankenstein myth.

A brilliant programmer, Travis Cole, inadvertently creates "Dorian," an artificial intelligence that lives on the Internet. After Cole attempts to terminate his creation, Dorian stalks his young daughter through cyberspace in an attempt to reach Cole to seek revenge.

When cyber-terrorism events threaten the United States, they turn out to stem from the forsaken and bitter Dorian.

In the final conflict, Dorian seeks to kill his creator - even if it has to destroy all of humanity to do it.

CyberKill is ripped from Today's News.

The geographic locations, government and military installations and organizations, information warfare scenarios, artificial intelligence, robots, and the information and communications technology in this book all exist.

As for SIRUS, pieces of the technology are either in existence or in the research and development stage.According to the Department of Defense, it doesn’t exist.

The Fars News Agency of Iran reported otherwise.

Your sincerely,

Frank Fiore

The synopsis is here, and you can read the sample chapters here. Frank has also put together a book trailer, which you can view, here.

Author Interview - Caroline Rance

The charming Caroline Rance, author of Kill-Grief has answered some questions for us this week on how she got her novel published, and what it felt like to achieve publication. Click here to read her interview.

Query Letter - Spoilt

Dear (Agent),

I chose to submit my query to you because (for whatever reason such as they specialise in the genre or my book is similar to others they represent). I hope my novel is of interest to you.

Love, Wealth, Envy and Murder. 'Before long she too will taste the feeling of nothingness.' A romantic thriller filled with passion, love, sex and heartache.

A sadistic serial killer is targeting young women in Lucas' city, in an all too familiar way. He lives a life of solitude and emptiness to protect his fragile heart.

After her fiancé left her heartbroken, Chelsea has found it difficult to move on with her life and although she is surrounded by loving family and friends, she is filled with loneliness. When her roommate Elle suddenly disappears, she is thrown into a world which changes her life. Fate brings Chelsea and Lucas together and their irrefutable attraction is too strong to deny. When Chelsea is abducted by the ruthless killer, Lucas must do everything in his power to ensure she doesn't become another victim.

SPOILT at 61,000 words is a romantic thriller. It will appeal to readers who enjoy a passionate love story surrounded by suspense in the vein of authors such as Nora Roberts. It is one of six completed novels.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind Regards

To see the sample chapters, click here. To see the synopsis, click here.

Writing Experiment number two: Writer's block. Discuss.

I'd like today's post to start a discussion, and so I am going to be deliberately provocative:

There is no such thing as writer's block.

I mean it. Some of the writers we now admire most wrote prolifically, usually to keep the roof over their head. They wrote real crap as well these people: Dickens, Shakespeare, Trollope, I can go on.

The lovely @LilithSaintCrow recently tweeted (during an author hour on twitter), that she didn't suffer from writer's block, that her problem was a multitude of ideas, not a paucity. She is a successful writer. In many ways this returns to my earlier post about whether to regard your writing as a hobby, or a potential career. If you cannot deal with writer's block, you won't have a successful career. End of discussion.

There are many different ways to deal with the inability to get the words down on paper. For example: I hate housework. I hate it with the passion most people reserve for traffic wardens and council tax and all the revolting realities of life. However, I also like a clean house and to find things when I want them, and sparkly tiles and...you get it. The answer to this is to advertise in the Tongan Times for a house elf, or to get busy. I hate housework so much, I put a song on the stereo and work for the 3 minutes and 16 seconds of the song. That is usually long enough to unload the dishwasher, or similar. Then I sit back down at the computer and write something. Then I get up, put another song on, and sweep up, and so on. Until it is done.

Writer's block is not a problem for me as I have already agreed my subject before I begin, and I don't need to be creative or inspirational. I need to be good, accurate, and fast. In order to make deadlines, I time my writing, like Trollope. I set a word count per twenty minutes and I write, and I hit the target. Sometimes I miss it by two minutes: maximum. Then I set the clock and go again. It might be absolute filth, but it's on the subject, and it's on the page. Granted, I am not dealing with love, or death, or abstract concepts, but I am getting the cheque. (I have been up since four this morning blowing my brains on a deadline, so I'm not smug, I'm cranky.)

Do not stare at a blank page, do not procrastinate. Do. Think about your writing when you aren't writing. Think about what the reader wants to hear from your story. Which characters interest them? How would that character think? If all else fails, write a resume for your protagonists. There are plenty of examples online. Ask your characters these questions (where did they grow up, what's their favourite piece of clothing and why?). Know them. Know your setting. Know the conflicts within the world you have created. It goes without saying if you cannot create a world, and characters, and interesting situations, do something else, don't try to be a writer. Once you know all these things, set the clock, and write.

Please let me and everyone else know what you think, if you agree, and how you deal with the blank page.

Writer Interview - Nicola Morgan

Because she is splendid, Nicola Morgan answered few questions for us a while ago. Click here to read all about it.

Query Letter - Benny Platonov

Hi Miss Pitch,

You've read it all before, and I've typed it all before, so I'm going to cut it short and just give you what I've got. If it's your thing, great; if it's not, no worries.

And just for kicks, I've framed it all in a mock-interview format:

'Benny Platonov' by Gupter Puncher

Ok, what’s it about?

Benny Platonov will save the eight-hundred and fifty-seven homeless of Hong Kong.

Why?

Benny’s a writer, an artist without the art, but that’s just a detail. The art will come, the words will come.

Yeah, but why the homeless?

Benny has a heart. He cares. And the opposite, he hates.

Oh, who does he hate?

Them. The rich.

Anyone else?

His students, those he teaches at the University. They are all rich kids. ‘What do they know of suffering?’ he asks pretty much every lesson.

So, he’s bitter then?

Yeah, possibly. He’s a lot of things. This is what literature can do better than film, right? It can get inside someone’s head, or it can show more sides to a person without making it seem out of character. So, Benny is many-sided, a dreamer, a romantic, but also unsure of himself. And he can be a real **** sometimes.

I don’t know, it sounds a bit vague…

I won’t lie, it has been called “uneven” by some [inc. Yaphet Kotto]. And we do spend a fair amount of time inside Benny’s head, but, come on, Selby Jr. spent almost three hundred uninterrupted pages in his protagonist’s head [The Demon]. He also had a hell of a voice though.

Sorry, still kinda vague…

Ok, well, what do you want exactly? The plot?

Please…

The plot, ok. A guy living and teaching in Hong Kong slowly loses all his friends and his job, but not his mind, in pursuit of the homeless. And by pursuit, I mean his attempt to write for and interact with them. So, he sits in a box, tries to communicate with them, helps to push their carts…until he can only go one final way. His own box, on the street, indefinitely. God help him.

I’m sorry, but it does sound a little ludicrous…

Yes, thank you.

Ok, that's what I've got.

Thanks for reading

Oli Johns

To read the sample chapters, click here. To read the synopsis, click here. Quick note lovelies, Oli's work is adult stuff.